Weird Dreams - Does It Tends To Repeat By Default?

to all who knows me.
n those who befriend me.
i'm sorry.
i noe,i'm being a bit more harsh to u all lately.
especially to kudin,heqing,n zul.
i'm sorry.
really2 sorry.
its just,i cant cntrol myself.
i'm too down.
i never become like this before.
but this time.
i dont even noe this is me or not.
but thanks all,i noe.
i can count on you.
just hoping,someone could cheer me up again.
this feeling.
just like the phrase before.
"Enlightened By Darkness"
err.
i dont noe how i can accept this phrase.
but it kinda scary.


these 2 days.
i keep getting dreams.
weird,and sometimes u can call it bad dreams.

it shows me as myself,being left in a bus.
and the chair arrngment in the bus are really weird.
unevenly arranged.but facing each other.
and theres people.but dun have faces.
and and i sit in front a woman.
a young mother with her lil baby.
trying to cheer me up,n her child.
in blue shirt.
keeps grinning at me.

then what i noe,i left aside at a very large lake.lake with black colored water,very calm,not even a ripple in it,cold air,and no sunshine.in the center there's giant rose and waterlily,grow up from a large rock mountain.alone,but with many voices.and i walk around the lake,but didn't saw anything diffrnt,only water,grass,high mountain with dark forest and giant flowers all around the lake.not even an animal,other path or whatever.

n this dream keep coming into my sleep,now for the fourth. n it comes in all my sleep,evening or nyte.
suddenly i just woke up,and i lost the time,i lost my name,i lost where am i.n it almost take me about 10 minutes to figure things out back.
whats happening?